Do you ever feel alone?

Can I get real with you? I mean really real?  If so, please read on.

I have been a Christian since 1996. In all these years I have only met a handful of other Christians that I could really depend on and that I feel I could trust with letting my guard down and being myself. It has been difficult to make true friends and it seems that more people say one thing (like lets get together or following up on promises) and then do the opposite. I can’t understand.

My family and I have become weary of trying to connect with other Christians.  The road for the last couple of years has been filled with painful relationships and broken trust.  I’ve tried to share my vision of planting a church and being missional in our community only to have those we hoped we could count on for moral support show none.  We’ve tried to get involved in a local church with the purpose of being contributors and not consumers – something I stressed to the pastor.  We became members and tithe our money, but no one has made any attempt to get us plugged in or contact us since.  My kids timidly went to youth group and met a couple leaders for their age group, yet every week no one welcomes them or ever makes them feel a part.  They hang out alone.  We have had “friends” dump us because they asked us about our view on the prosperity gospel and didn’t like our Biblical answer to why we disagree with it.  This is just the tip of the iceberg.

We have wondered if it is just us.  Are we like a plague or just too transparent about our lives that we scare people off?  The sad (and yet very cool) thing is that I connect with people who are not believers better than most Christians.  The person I trust most – besides my family – doesn’t trust churches or 98% of the Christians of the world.

We honestly feel alone for the most part.  Do you ever feel that way?

We want to serve the Lord with 100% devotion. We constantly talk about how we want to invest in and make a difference in the lives of others – not for personal gain or satisfaction, but because we really care about people’s lives.  We have dreamed of planting a church for years and just want to love and welcome people unconditionally and have them feel like they matter for a change.  But we are living with a lot of disappointments and this makes reaching out hard.

Maybe this post sounds stupid or doesn’t make sense.  I just wonder how many other people might feel disconnected or alone – and what Christians who preach that we should love our neighbor might do to change this situation.  Thanks for letting me ramble and get this off my chest.